VIM for the VIP

Oh the outrage! How can we have neglected the blog for nearly two weeks? Mai Pen Rai. No worries in Thai. No excuse, no reason, just never got around to it, I guess. Anyway, that's our story and we are sticking to it, unless a better reason comes forth.

The previous two weekends have been pretty quiet. We went back to our favorite little oasis, Kanchanaburi, and spent a couple of days by the pool. Last weekend we stayed in Dan Chang or the DC as Deb refers to it. On Sunday we headed over to Sam Chuk and the 100 year old Chinese market where we shopped for a few souvenirs to distribute amongst family and friends on our return. On Tuesday the school asked us to stick around for a very important meeting and dinner with visiting teachers from all over Thailand, it would take place Friday night. Lucky they added the dinner part or we would have been outta the DC in no time.

“VIM's” or very important meetings are pretty common place in Thailand and usually have littlereason to be. So when our principal asked us to spend Friday evening at the VIM and dinner, we were not too excited. It was Wednesday when we began to notice some significant changes were being made around the school, landscaping and cobweb removal topping the list over curriculum development and actual learning. Image is everything here. The students spent most of their day's cleaning rooms, planting trees and even laying sod on the barren patch of dirt around our office. We wondered if the King was coming, he did not. Flowers, plants and rock gardens sprung up around campus in no time. Why? Because a group of 25 teachers from around the country were coming for a VIM and dinner, of course! On the big day, Friday, the school was a frenzy of last second shaping up and then believe it or not, the announcement came over the loud speaker that dismissal time would be moved up to avoid the campus being dirtied. How to impress teachers in Thailand? Remove the students early and leave no trace of their presence or capabilities as students for anyone to see. It all made sense when the group arrived at our school at 7pm in the pitch black of night. I am sure it was the language barrier that kept me from hearing all the comments about the beautiful plants, flowers, rock gardens and lack of cobwebs coming from the VIP's for the VIM...Sorry for the brute force sarcasm, but really?

Needless to say, the evening was pleasant. There was not VIM or even a trace of actual school business being discussed. Our children did a wonderful job putting on 3 Thai cultural dances for the guests and in serving dinner to everyone. Deb and I sat on the floor, everyone was, and tried to avoid the odor of my feet seeping up from under the table. We were not really noticed and would have escaped, but the maniac with the microphone asked us to say a few words. A few words is all we got buddy...So in our broken Thai we said hello, thanked them for coming to our school and asked if anyone saw the new sod. No one did.

We have a pretty standard week ahead of us. Teaching and paper-rock-scissors games will occupy the majority of our time. The weekend plans call for a trip to Bangkok for some touring and possibly an adventure to a floating market.

Re-reading this I realize the bitter pill I swallowed while watching the Vikings throw away a trip to the Superbowl has now affected the blog. I apologize for this and assure you that future blog posts will be more in tune with our readers desires. Like me suffering, oh wait, did I mention there is another VIM this afternoon?

Thai Immigration versus Chicago DMV

Here it is. Deb and I were told on Tuesday that we would need to go to immigration and get our work permit and VISA extension on Wednesday. No worries, could a Thai immigration office be any worse than the Chicago DMV? Yes. Much worse.

If I had the ability to TWEET on my phone, it would have looked like this.

Wednesday

7:30a.m. Arranged pick up time. Coordinator was emphatic Tuesday night we be ready at this time.

8:00a.m. Coordinator picks us up and apologizes for being so early, did we miss something?

8:18a.m. Nearly dissolve a dog on the highway as we near warp speed in a pickup truck designed for slow going in the jungle. Our coordinator comments about the need for more traffic safety and driving instruction. Hello Kettle.

9:25a.m. Arrive at the District Administrative and Bureaucracy building (this is not made up) and immediately regret not bringing a camera to pose near the sign. Questions begin to arise as to whether the Chicago DMV might have some competition.

9:31a.m. Summit a massive staircase instead of taking the elevator that was obviously made for circus clown midgets. You know something is small when only 3 Thai people can fit in it. I mean, this is the country that on any given road you can see 3-5 people on a Vespa scooter with room to spare.

9:35a.m. Ascertain that we are in correct place from giant flow chart that depicts everyone's position in the building, from the District Manager to the elderly lady selling noodles in the lobby. We find our appropriate room and are beckoned to a desk by a friendly enough looking woman. At this point the Chi-town DMV is crushing the competition as there are not even numbers being called out and most people are smiling.

9:39a.m. All hell breaks loose in the office as the one and apparently only fax machine runs out of ink. Friendly looking woman (lets call her Janis) gets game face on and goes to join the 23 other people huddled around the fax. If ever a time for camera phone, this is it! I imagine the conversation was like this. “Tom, you call Jeff from IS and tell him to bring up ink.” “Screw that Janis, I am a man, I got this.” Janis returns to us and hands us a stack of forms, asks for our passports and then kicks Tom as she walks to copier.

9:59a.m. Janis returns from copier, kicking Tom on the way. Still no ink for the fax machine, but the consensus decision seems to be that if you shake the old ink cartridge enough, it will magically refill. Not a chance folks, I have been where you are, shaking just increases chance of wardrobe wrecking.

10:08a.m. Janis informs us that our forms are complete and the necessary copies have been made. She just needs to get one more signature, stamp our work permit and we are set. The DMV has no rival it seems.

10:11a.m. Janis returns with a smile on her face and like any good government employee, she blames the following on her leader. “Sorry, we cannot stamp because rule has changed. You must get Visa extension within in 4 days of expiration not the 5 days that it used to be. Please go to Ayyuthaya (85 kilometers away) and get Super District Commander General to sign temporary work permit.” That was the condensed version. With that, the fax machine became the center of attention again as it made a beeping sound when someone turned it on. Chicago DMV is up a field goal at this point.

11:45a.m. Arrive in Ayyuthaya and enter mini-mart of bureaucracy. Janis' twin sister greeted us at the door and asked us what we needed. Taking our forms and making good time getting through them was promising. Then 12pm flashed across the clock and the table we were sitting at quickly transformed into a buffet line. Janis II told us curtly that it was now the lunch hour and we would have to come back at 1pm. Not really wanting to get between a government employee and their federally mandated lunch break we left the office without the needed stamp and an hour to kill. Its a tie ball game now Chicago DMV.

12:15p.m. Pizza Hut in Ayyuthaya will make it all better, right? Right! The first thing that has gone our way today comes in the form of a small pan pizza with extra cheese. Life is good.

1:15p.m. Back to the fiefdom that Janis II is obviously the ice queen of. Our process starts over again, apparently lunch erases any memory of past visitors to the office. Seriously, every form she had already looked at was scrutinized again, most of the forms listed our birthday and former addresses, riveting... DMV is now down a touchdown.

2:00p.m. 8 people have been completely processed since we arrived here the second time. It smells like fish in here and the secretary is starting to pass out coffee cups to the employees. I spy a cake in the back and pray that we are not shuffled out the door for an inter-office birthday party.

2:30p.m. The coffee is being poured and Janis II looks ready to burn our paperwork to avoid missing the cake that is also being dolled out. Thankfully, our coordinator graciously asks her to keep working or maybe she threatened her with a severe scalding if Janis II does not finish, as the discussion was in Thai we dont know what was said.Janis II completes our forms, two stamps and a signature in just under 3 hours. WTF! DMV is total Junior Varsity.

2:45pm Traffic! I swear to God if its those damn elephants or a procession of monks, its going to get nasty. Of course! Why wouldn't every driver in the city slow down to look at the freshly painted “Welcome To Ayyuthaya” sign being unveiled, its not everyday you can smell new paint! DRIVE!

4:00pm Arrive back at the District Administrative and Bureaucracy building and scamper up the steps to make sure we catch the first Janis before she bails on the day. Not only is Janis there, but the whole damn office is now sitting around a table for the end of the day staff meeting or more likely they are reviewing the game tape from the fax machine SNAFU in the morning. Either way, we are welcomed like the plague in Europe. It literally took 5 minutes and a best of 5 in Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who would help us.

4:45pm 6 copies of all forms are made and then stamped 8 times by two people, 3 others are called out of the meeting to review the forms and sign, a candle is lit and I am pretty sure we need to give a DNA sample now. Oh wait, they just want 1500 baht. Paid.

4:47pm Slowly backing out of the office in hopes that by staying big...oh wait that is for bears, run!

5:30pm Stunned, shocked, discombobulated and maybe a bit punch drunk with bureaucracy we hurtle back home. But wait, one more stop.

6:50pm Our coordinator dropped us off an hour ago at a restaurant and still has not returned. Her last word, “surprise!” I promise a swift and painful end if I do not get home in the next 20 minutes.

8:08pm Coordinator returns, orders us dinner. Silence ensues for next two hours...

10:00pm Home. Work permit in hand and with enough stamps and signatures to ratify the drilling of of ANWR.

This has been a presentation of our life in Thailand. Consider it a Christmas present.

Teaching

Here is an update on the teaching side of things. We experience the joys and frustrations of being a foreign language teacher everyday. The mornings are our favorite, as we enter the school grounds on our bicycles and are greeted by hundreds of student screeching “good morning teacher Deb and Joe” or “shake hand” or better yet “rock, paper, scissors”. We equate our attraction with the students to that of a Liger (you know, a tiger and lion cross breed),they exist, but until you see one in person it never really seems real. Many of our students have never seen white people in person, therefore they feel the need to shake our hands to ensure we are not a figment of their imagination. Needless to say, we go through lots of hand sanitizer as most of the kids leave a pile of dirt or the bird bath they are playing to run over and touch us...Joy!

Our time in the classroom continues to be some of funniest experiences we have had, as well as, some of our most frustrating. We are now 8 weeks out from the last day of school and the “books” we were given to teach from have been completed. (“books” are the quasi form of curriculum we can follow, if we so choose). We are now on a constant hunt for worksheets, games and activities to do with the kids yet have no curriculum to base these searches on. I never thought I had it in me, but I have officially found my “scary” voice in attempts to get the students attention when their noise reaches that of a jet airplane. Although it isn't as scary as Joe's I think I do a pretty good job.

The kids continue to amaze us though as they practice their English skills with us outside the classroom. We often have visitors in our office looking to get a little one-on-one tutoring session in between classes. Often pointing to objects in the office in search of the English word, or asking to see pictures of our friends, family and city in the states. Our nightly run to the market for dinner usually results in a few students or kids from other schools saying hello and the really brave ones asking how we are.

This week there is an outside chance that we will be making a border run, not to Taco Bell, but to Laos for our passports to stay valid. Our work permits have not been cleared yet and in order to remain “legal” we need to get another 90 day stamp. So, teaching may take a backseat as we have to travel to two distant towns in hopes of receiving our work permits and then on to immigration to extend our 90 day stay....If not Laos here we come!

We are already in the beginning stages of planning for our travels through Southeast Asia in March and our month in Europe in April. The past three months have been filled with incredible experiences and memories to last us multiple lifetimes. We are blessed with another three months of travel and look forward to whatever awaits us!

New Year 2010

If you did not make a resolution this New Year or want to switch from the normal“I am going to lose ten pounds” that usually lasts until SuperBowl Sunday, resolve to take a trip somewhere beautiful or somewhere you have always wanted to visit. We stuck to our 09' resolution and were rewarded beyond our imagination! There it was, glimmering on the horizon, a beacon for those seeking the ultimate New Year party. A two hour ferry from the port city of Phuket brought us to Phi Phi Island and it did not disappoint. We arrived on the 30th and could not have asked for a more spectacular setting to ring in the New Year. Phi Phi (pronounced Pee-Pee) is postcard beautiful with white sand beaches and crystal clear water that is always the perfect temperature supplied by the Andaman Sea. Our last days of 09' and the first few of the new decade were filled with swimming, snorkeling, wandering and general revelry.New Years eve was F-U-N, fun, fun, fun! We started the evening with a great dinner at a Seafood restaurant that is located right on the water and specializes in seafood. It was win-win for the both of us. We were joined at dinner by 8 friends who are also teaching here and made the trek south. By the time dinner ended and our billed was paid, we had put a good dent into the evening. Making the move to an Irish pub for a “bucket” was next. A “bucket” is a sand pal that is filled with ice and your choice of adult beverage and a mixer, total price $3. A couple of those guys put everyone in good spirits and the party moved onto the beach at a bar called Bora Bora. At this point the night gets a bit hazy for Joe, but Deb documented most of it with the camera and pictures do not lie. Basically it went down like this. There were fire dancers everywhere on the beach, people juggling, jump roping and even spitting fire could be found all around. Then the ring of fire came out and for the highly confident party goers you were welcome to jump through it. Joe did, three times.

As the clock ticked toward midnight, the tide began to come in further and soon we were dancing in the waves. Dancing soon gave way to swimming under a full-moon and when the clock struck 12 the fireworks exploded all over the island and we enjoyed the show while floating on our backs. The hip-hop and classic rap blaring over the speakers carried us deep into the first morning of 2010.

We spent New Years Day recouping in the morning and then went on snorkeling tour and sunset cruise in the afternoon. Phi Phi is close to a number of other islands and we were able to snorkel, visit the famed “The Beach” movie setting and even see a native group of people that live in a giant cave on one island. The cruise ended as

we silently drifted in the ocean watching a beautiful sunset.

On our last day we hired a long-tail boat taxi to take us to Bamboo Island. It was hands down the most beautiful beach either of us have ever seen. We spent the day relaxing in the sun and snorkeling in the aqua green water. It was a great way to wrap up

our trip to and to celebrate the New Year. Our suggestion to anyone looking for a spring break destination, winter getaway or just a vacation is that you head to Phi Phi Island in Thailand, a breathtaking place that will not disappoint. We hope everyone had a wonderful New Year and are now settling for remainder of

the winter. We officially crossed our half-way mark as teachers today, only 8 weeks to get the little critters speaking English. Better get to work! Happy New Year.

Christmas Review

If Santa found us, he surely found you and hopefully treated you well. Christmas in Thailand is slowly winding down, but never fear, the New Year is almost here! Our Christmas was definitely one we will remember and here is why. Friday afternoon was the all school Christmas show and it was expected to be done in English. We were told about this on Thursday. The scramble was on to coordinate with the other English teachers to come up with a show for the students and faculty. Thankfully, a few of the veteran teachers veteran had gone thru this before and a plan was quickly developed. My role was easy, be Santa Claus, hand out candy and make the crowds merry. Deb was asked to be an angel, not much work was needed on her part to make that happen, however, the wings, wand and little crown were icing on the cake. The Santa costume was made out of wool, how that material is even allowed in this country is beyond me. It was 90 degrees and humid and I was sweating before I even got the beard and eyebrows glued to my face. Yes, they took Elmer's glue and pasted cotton balls to my face to finish off the costume. This was some sort of sick hazing I suspect because they gave me a pillow that looked like it was used as a goat's bed to stuff under my shirt as a big belly. I entered the outdoor pavilion where the show was held at a snail's pace, fearful I would pass out from heat stroke. Deb was merrily tapping children on the head with her wand and skipping to and fro because the angel costume was a pair of wings and a crown. Things got worse for Santa as the cotton balls began sliding off my face as I poured sweat. Soon a child handed me my left eyebrow and then the beard peeled off, it was a colossal costume failure. Oh well, theater was never my bit. Never before was I so thankful to hear the final bell of the day ring, meaning the weekend was on and Santa was no longer needed at the school.

We headed to Suphanburi which is about one hour south of us. The plan called for a gathering ofwesterners at a local restaurant that is operated by a Dutchman and his Thai wife. They made a simple, but scrumptious meal of mashed sweet potatoes and pork meatballs. There was caroling, much drinking and story telling and I am pretty sure a few people were playing a game of Twister, but we never made it to that side of the room. Christmas in Thailand

came to a close sometime in the wee hours of the 26th for us and it could not have been better!

The rest of the weekend was pretty low key as we spent all day Saturday at a hotel pool. Lounging about and recovery from the revelry of the night before. Joe got a Thai massage as Deb soaked in sun and good book. Thai massage is actually pretty demanding on the body as it is more reflexology than soothing deep tissue. I would have never suspected the middle aged, 4 foot 9 inch Thai woman, assigned as my masseuse to make me yelp as much as I did. She literally threw me onto the ground, put me into a series of wrestling moves for an hour and never heeded my pleas to be gentle. She pulled every mu

scle in directions I know they are not supposed to go and worked over my feet with her elbow to the point my eyes were watering. Thinking that I would be a hunchback when she finished I resisted a bit when she flipped me onto my stomach to work on the back. Bad decision. A quick shot to an unknown pressure point ended my revolt. As the session ended I thought life in a wheelchair surely awaited me, but she sprung me to my feet in a final display of superhuman strength at patted my bottom saying “you feel much better now, yes?” She was right, my muscles felt great, the knots in my back were gone and I think I am two inches taller.

Its a short week for us, teaching only two days before heading to the sandy beaches of Phi Phi island on Wednesday. Christmas was great and the New Year and new decade is shaping up tobe pretty awesome as well. We agreed that this is the first time in either of our lives we really stuck to a New Year resolution and we are sure glad that we resolved to see the world together! Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas from Thailand

Believe it or not, it is snowing in Thailand! “Black Snow” or literally ashes from the burning of sugarcane fields has been silently falling for the past couple of days now. Most sugarcane farmers employ the tactic to speed the harvest of their crop. The ashes are not hot, usually drifting miles before falling, and do not really accumulate. Initially we thought it would help remind us of home, but nothing beats a good solid Chicago snowstorm in December. There is no catching ash on your tongue, making ashmen or having an ashball fight, but alas...

We have to work both the 24th and the 25th, but will head to Suphanburi and celebrate with some fellow teachers on the night of the 25th. The plan is for a run into Bangkok on the 26th to find a turkey or at least some pizza and maybe a bit of shopping. Regardless of where you are in this world Christmas season should be celebrated accordingly if you dig the birth of Christ and the associated festivities. We are going to have a scaled down version here, but be assured there are a few presents

to go under our tree as Santa found us! A recent package included homemade cookies and candy. Christmas has been saved! Thank you Mrs. Goggin.

The children at school have helped decorate our office with pictures and banners celebrating the season. We fully expect to say “Merry Christmas” 1,000 times on Friday as the kids are only to eager to use their newest learned English phrase. This is our second Christmas as Mr. and Mrs. Wronka

and its probably going to be one of our most remembered, this point has not been lost on us. We have been blessed with an incredible

trip so far and can only pray that 2010 will be as wonderful as 2009. Thank you to all our family and friends for the support and

love you have provided us. You will be toasted numerous times this side of the world in the coming days and we hope you will do the same for us!

Merry Christmas!

Deb and Joe

Everyday Life

We are planning to stay in Dan Chang for the weekend, it will be only the second time we have done so since arriving back in October. Our travels of recent and a long week of work have worn us out. Kicking it with the local's for the weekend will be nice, we hope.

If you are living vicariously thru our travels this may not give youmuch of a fix. Give it a try though. The idea here is give you a look at our home and the town we live in. Hopefully the pictures answer outstanding questions as words can only capture so much.

Our campground/home is located about fifteen minutes (by bicycle) outside of the town of Dan Chang. Its like living in a highway motel without the highway nearby, we are in the jungle. Its one bedroom. The campground has a dining hall that we can eat at if we choose. Since we are the only permanent residents along with a young woman from China, the menu is short and not very big. In fact, Deb has a choice of two items and Joe can get three

different dishes. It should be quiet we thought, being out of town and in the jungle. Not true, the dogs bark all night long and as the sun comes up the local temple begins prayers over the loudspeakers that are found on every light pole in the area. Its a bit strange, but we are slowly getting used to it.
The bike ride to work is always a blast, especially when the giant trucks that are overloaded with sugarcane come barreling past at 60mph. There is a fairly good chance we are going to take a stalk of cane off the head at some point.

Teaching continues to be an adventure and one that we are usually prepared for. It has been difficult to make significant language strides with the kids as the classrooms are overflowing with them. Most of our classes have about 40 students and the desks are so packed together that we cannot walk the aisles. It makes it difficult to help two children who glued their arms together, seriously, it happened.

Classes are rarely quiet as the children use their time with the foreign teachers to catch up on the latetest school gossip or play a game of Pokemon cards. We have given up on complete silence in the class and tend to operate on a “louder than those of you talking voice”, to get our lesson across. The children are not to blame though as we have attended a number of professional meetings where it is not uncommon for adults to hold conversations or pick up the phone when someone of authority is speaking. The Thai culture loves noise, that is the only conclusion we can draw.

All in all, the days go by fairly fast and its hard to believe we have been here for two months now. We will be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day working and then taking a 4 day vacation to the island of Phi Phi. Watch the movie “The Beach” and that is where we are hanging out.

Hopefully this post has answered some of the questions you may have about our day to day here in Thailand. If not, email us and we will get you an hour by hour log of our activities sent to you ASAP.